Temporal Temper

a very short short story


"Who are you?"

"A time traveler."

"Am I supposed to believe you?"

"No."

"Where are you from?"

"A future without you in it."

"Why are you here?"

"To create a future where you survive next Sunday."

"Yeah right. Charlie? Bruno? Get this jackass outta here."

"Have you recorded that birthday greeting yet for John Lennon?"

"Wait.. What?"

"About a month from now, John Lennon tells Dick Cavett he didn't get to hear your birthday greeting until after you're already dead. You really wanna be a downer for John's birthday?"

"Okay smartass. How do I die?"

"Heroin overdose."

"I ain't a psychic or a time traveler and I could guess that's how I'm gonna go--"

"So I have agents all over California. From our research in police records, customs, boat and airplane shipments, we know where all the drug activity is in America this very minute. You may have noticed how difficult it was to find your drugs this morning?"

"..."

"We narc'd. The cops know where all that junk is, and those leads will accelerate the FBI's efforts to stop drug trafficking by about a decade. They're undergoing a major crack down right now. By Sunday night you won't be able to find a gram this side of Vegas, much less afford it."

"Is that right?"

"Yep."

"Bruno? He's lying right?"

"..."

"Bruno?"

"Our wells started drying up yesterday morning. Jack is looking into other connections, but.."

"Well... Time traveler? Sounds like you've gone to a lot of trouble for little old me."

"A lot of people miss you, Miss Joplin."

"Is that right? Well you tell those people I don't wanna live in a future where I can't fucking kill myself with heroin by my own choice if I fucking want to. You got that?"

"Yes ma'am."

"You gonna call off the fuzz?"

"No ma'am. We done all we can. The rest is up to you."

"You're leaving?

"I was going to offer more help, but we can't go further without your permission, and you're obviously not interested in giving it."

"Where you going?"

"To see if your heart is still beating Monday morning. See you then."